Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I'm not sure I can adequately put into words what camp means to me. Screw Disneyland - it's the happiest place on earth. The instant I got there, way back in 06, I felt welcome. A little on the fringe cuz I only knew the people I had come with and a lot intimidated, but welcome. My first year I was very much a wallflower. I met alot of people and learned almost every single person's name, but only connected with a handful of people. I mostly just watched. I was thirteen and I didn't know the first thing about myself. I hadn't begun building myself yet and my camp experience laid out the foundation for the me you see today. It showed me what my life could be and, more importantly, what I could be. Not camp itself, really, but the people there. There were amazing people who inspired, amazed, and awed me, not to mention some that intimidated the hell out of me. You know, your basic 'cool kids'. I didn't quite get it then, but I know now that not a single person at camp is cool. They're just who they are. Some of them, mostly the old campers, are scary as shit to the first years. They're older, they're confident in themselves, and they know everybody. Intimidating, no? I'm pretty sure I didn't approach a single old camper my first year. They didn't quite seem safe. They were new territory; a kind of person I'd never come across before.
I came back in 07 an entirely different person. I'd spent the year between my first year and my second expanding and growing and venturing into heretofore unexplored ways of being and found one I liked. 07 was definitely my favorite year of my three years at camp. I was as happy with me as I could be and camp nurtured that. I branched out, talked to more people, hung out with more people, and made deep connections. And I realized that in the space of one little year I had gone from a wallflower to one of the scary-as-hell cool, older campers. I dunno how it happened. I probably wouldn't have realized it if one of the people I intimidated (it's weird to think of myself as intimidating; I don't feel intimidating) hadn't pointed it out to me. I was intimidating. As much as it sucked, knowing people were scared to talk to me, it did great things for the old self esteem :D. 07 was good for me. It helped me grow and learn much more about me, it pushed my comfort zone, and it brought me the greatest friend I've ever had (other than Chloe, of course).
This year was a strange year. Not many people I knew were there, so it forced me to widen my circle, but it also shrank my circle. I hung out with a lot of people I probably wouldn't have otherwise, which was fabulous, but I spent most of my time with pretty much ten or fifteen specific people, probably seeming unapproachable and scary. I was an old camper. An upperclassman, so to speak.
I don't want to be intimidating in 09. I want everyone to look at me and know that I love them, even if we've never spoken. I want to be a friend, a support, a sister, a role model, whatever. I wish that all the first years or whoever is feeling overwhelmed or anything would have, like, radar that pointed me out to them, so they'd know that, even if we've only seen each other from afar, I'll drop what I'm doing to meet them, hug them, introduce them to everyone, or hide them away where no one can find them. Whatever they need at that specific moment in time I will do my best to provide it. I don't want a single person to be afraid to talk to me. Sure, I throw clothes on in interesting combinations and am friends with all the intimidating people, it doesn't mean I don't want to meet you or that I'm cooler than you or cool at all. I'm a klutz and I have very ditzy moments. I'm probably as lost as you are in real life, but at camp I know exactly who I am, where I am, and where I'm going. You probably do, too, if you look hard enough.
NBTSC has created me, broken me, fulfilled me, hurt me, changed me, solidified me, and has had a huge part in making me who I am today. I am beyond thankful for it. Every single person who has set foot in that place has had an impact on me, whether they know it or not. Probably not.
And that's not even mentioning Grace. She makes a point to learn your name. Even if you only talk to her for two minutes you know from the way she smiles at you that she loves you deeply, just for existing. It can rock you to your core, being loved instantaneously just for that.
So, yeah. I'm excited for camp.
You should go this year. I'm not exaggerating about a single thing.
The meme: A combination of the letter meme and the in-your-own-handwriting meme.The instructions:You leave a comment on this post, and I’ll assign you a letter. You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.
1. Death or Glory - The Clash
What can I say? It's my favorite Clash song. I used to be partial to London Calling, then it was This Is Radio Clash, but now I'm all over Death or Glory. If you haven't heard it, there's no time like the present.
The word. Although, 'dudes' are pretty good, too.
3. Daily Show
Need I say more?
4. Disney movies
All the twirling and the singing and the cute animal sidekicks. You just get addicted to the whole happily-ever-after deal.
5. Dark chocolate
Regular old chocolate is super, for sure, but I'm pretty sure I like dark better. I don't know where I got it from cuz dad hates dark and I don't think mom likes it either.
6. Dawn of the Dead
George Romero is the god of zombie movies. This one in particular is my favorite of his, but Land of the Dead is supremely hardcore, too.
8. Dew, Mountain
And by that I mean Mountain Dew. But not gross old, classic, lemon lime Mountain Dew. It's the crappiest lemon lime soda of all time. Oh, no. I like Code Red and Supernova. mhmmm
And my nails.
And other equally exciting things.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
I'm crazy excited to have my computer back and I've barely been off it since I got it back, which probably means you'll be seeing more posts soon :D
The kind of thing you've been missing while I was inactive:
Aren't you glad I'm back in action?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
2. Corvallis for Halloween and NonCon is where I want to be.
3. How does one stand not voting? I really, really wanna.
4. Music keeps me on track.
5. Please do not fight.
6. The thought of watching Heroes on Monday fills me with joy.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking my 365 pictures, tomorrow my plans include cleaning my room, and Sunday, I want to carve pumpkins at Papa and Grandma's!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The 13 Most Recently Played Songs In My iTunes
(Keep in mind my iTunes rarely ever gets taken off shuffle)
1. Fix You, Coldplay
2. Pleasure Ryland, Cobra Starship
3. Because, Across the Universe Cast
4. 1-2 Crush On You, The Clash
5. Ocean of Noise, Arcade Fire
6. SexyBack, Justin Timberlake
7. Turn Me On, Norah Jones
8. Jungle Boogie, Kool and the Gang
9. Sleeping In, The Postal Service
10. Dragging Dead Bodies in Blue Bags Up Really Long Hills, Escape the Fate
11. Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer
12. The Diary of Jane, Breaking Benjamin
13. Just Like Honey, The Jesus and Mary Chain
Also, cuz I'm in a giving/musically inclined mood, I'll put up my 13 favorite songs from my Recently Added, which, as always, is amazingly full.
1. Umbrella, All Time Low
2. Somebody Loved, The Weepies
3. Vieni a Ballare in Puglia, Caparezza
4. Silver Lining, Rilo Kiley
5. Acid Tongue, Jenny Lewis
6. Like Eating Glass, Bloc Party
7. Valerie, Ghost of the Robot
8. Got Your Money, Say Anything
9. Put Yo Hood Up, Set Your Goals
10. I Kissed a Boy, Cobra Starship
11. I've Been Eating (For You), Bright Eyes
12. Handcuffs, Brand New
13. Men In Black, Forever the Sickest Kids
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
My Phone: Cherry Oh Baby
My iPod? I call her Vera.
My Camera: Fernando a.k.a King Missile
My Computer: Johnny Rotten
My Noserings: Sid and Nancy
My Lamp: I Love
My Girlfriend: Your mom.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
If I was a punctuation mark I'd be a semi colon.
If I was a form of currency I'd be an IOU.
If I was a hallucinogen I'd be Ecstasy. I'd put holes in your brain.
If I was an element I'd be sulfur with water to create sulfuric acid.
If I was a best-selling book I'd be Stargirl.
If I was a thought I'd be passing.
If I was a way to understand love I'd be deep thought.
If I was a boot I'd be Doc Martens.
If I was a hue I'd be electric blue!
If I was a soup I'd be leek and potato.
If I was time I'd travel through myself.
If I was a drink I'd be a Sloe Comfortable Screw Up Against the Wall.
If I was a play I'd be written with you in mind.
No, I'm not going to do a Live and Learn post or a Europe post. Cuz I just don't want to. If you wanna hear about them look at mom's blog. If you wanna see pictures I'll upload them somewhere at some point and anounce it here, but that's all I'm doing.
Blogging Without Obligation.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
2. My heart is divided between reailty and romanticism.
3. Activity is what I need RIGHT NOW!
4. I have felt the peace of enlightenment, I have known the depths of frustration its disappearance causes.
5. Gah, won't these people stop making things difficult.
6. Go listen to a song called None Shall Pass by Aesop Rock as soon as you can!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to Psych, tomorrow my plans include haircut and crabbing and Sunday, I want to go to the health club with mom and Chloe!
Monday, August 4, 2008
I highly recommend a look at my Flickr, though. I'm pretty darn proud of the photos from RU Fun. They're spiffy.
Thursday, July 24, 2008