Shouldn't I celebrate Tell a Story Day?
And yes, yes I should.
But that brings the question of 'How does one celebrate Tell a Story Day?' The answer may seem obvious.
Tell a story, of course!
But then the question arises 'Do I make up a story or tell one about me?'
This is my blog, yes? Yes. It's my place to be self-involved! So of course I'm going to tell a story about me.
But there are so many! How does one choose?
And then it came to me! I'll just put down my fondest memory.
But wait! What's my fondest memory? They're all fond. Well, most of 'em anyway.
So what to do?
Do I tell the story about the time I accidentally blew up a bunch of firecrackers in a poor dogs face?
Do I tell the story about the time we fought over a Strawberry Julius and ended up with fruity drink all over us?
Do I tell the story about the time in Corvallis when we played with the leftover rubbing alcohal from when Harper visited?
Do I tell the story about the time Chiara and I danced to the Jackson Five?
Do I tell the story about the time we drove over the speed humps? (I'm not kidding, on Whidbey all the signs say Speed Hump.)
Do I tell the story about the time Caleb got knocked on his ass and maybe got a concussion?
Do I tell the story about the time we did EHS cheers in Grandma's living room?
Do I tell the story about the time Alexis sprayed Page with Silly String?
Speaking of Silly String, do I tell the story about the time Renna sprayed it in my ear?
Do I tell the story about the Imperial march at Jerry and Cori's wedding?
Do I tell the story about my 13th birthday?
Do I tell the story about Chloe's 13th birthday? Do I finally explain 'one is more sour' to the world?
Do I tell the story about Rebecca's party?
Do I tell the story about Chloe narrating while she snorkled?
Do I tell the story about the time we went in that Haunted House with Kyla and Logan?
Do I tell the story about when we built the fort at Sandy and Larry's?
Do I tell the stories about Desmond and Molly?
Do I tell all the stories from all the gatherings of the cousins?
Do I tell the story of how I came to be called Baby Penguin?
Do I tell the story about what happens at the Fourth of July?
Do I tell the story about the time we stayed up all night watching Buffy with Qacei, Hunter, and Logan, then tried to go to Blockbuster at seven am when Hunter and Logan left with the rest of the discs?
Do I tell the story about the time Hunter and I tried to light Logan on fire?
Do I tell the story about the time we went to Lake Stevens with Chiara and Elena?
Do I tell the story about going to The Academy Is ... concert at the House of Blues in New Orleans?
Do I tell the story about that barracuda when I went snorkling at the Dry Tortugas?
Do I tell the story about Black Sheep?
Do I tell the story about Chelsea's birthday party when Annie fell on her ass and Dylan carried me off and dumped me outside?
Do I tell the story about the day we got Angelo?
Do I tell the story about everybody getting buried in sand on the ocean field trip at NBTSC 06?
Do I tell the story of the staircase dwellings at LIFE Is Good?
Do I tell the story about John getting arrested when he and Marty went on a two am horchata run?
Do I tell the story of the Mayan Ruins we made?
Do I tell the story about the salt snorting? Both times?
Do I tell the story about Madison going swimming in the Bay? In Febuary?
Or the story about when we went rock climbing with Brian?
Or maybe when we did that 750883838900 mile hike at Chiricahua?
Or maybe the story about when I taught Devon how to clean fish?
Or that time I had an epiphany? Or maybe it was just a swift mental kick on the ass.
Or that time with the pinata? Or that other time with that other pinata?
Or the time Asher and John switched clothes and everybody almost mistook them for each other?
Or the thumb wars with the condoms?
Or the time we blew up the studded condom?
Or when we cut Hayden's hair!
Or the time we got krab (a.k.a. fake crab) and took it to the Quad to have a picnic?
Or the time we played in the Seattle Public Library?
Or Halloween in New Orleans with Brian?
Or paintballing at Jerry's bachelor party when I kicked ass?
Or when Mezza Luna got scared by the cat and dove for cover and we had to coax her out with delicious foodstuffs?
Or that time I failed miserably in all senses of the word at pancakes?
Or that time they made us go out in the Bay in the middle of Winter to get those logs?
Or Oregon Country Fair?
Or when we dyed Easter eggs with Lori and Brian?
Or D&D at Logan and Hunter's when Chris tried to take the Shiny and I killed the Lich king?
Or when we found the Spike coat?
Ooh! Ooh! I know! When we went to that Casino and blew a ton of qaurters on arcade games!
No. Maybe that time I went sledding in the laundry basket then sledded down the front steps?
Or hide and seek with Fergus? Just about anything with Fergus?
Oh! I finally thought of something.
Once upon a time there was a magical place called Benures Bay. It was in the fantastical land of the Virgin Islands in the Caribbean. There was a really cool family anchored there on a shitty sailboat that kept breaking named Mariposa and they were the only people there. They were happy. They ate dinner in the cockpit (Sole Chicken! But that's another story) and went swimming all day. Then one day a very strange fish turned up one night while they were eating dinner. As they tried to get a look they realised it was a remora! They fed him some of their dinner, seeing as he clearly wasn't attatched to a shark. He came back again and and they named him Schnetterling (which is German for butterfly, like Mariposa is Spanish for butterfly). Finally, sadly, the really cool family decided it was time to leave this magical land and sail to another one called the Baths. And Schnetterling followed them! I guess they were really cool. When they got there they realised the remora was still with them. Surprised and pleased they continued to feed him the short while they were in the Baths. Then they had to leave and went back down the channel they'd just sailed up to get to the baths. And Schnetterling followed them yet again! It seemed the really cool family had made quite the impression the the little suckerfish. He stayed with them for awhile longer before leaving them to continue on to whatever it was he was looking for. The really cool family missed his company, as he'd charmed them, but knew he was better off finding his own way and not mooching off them all the time. So it was a happy ending.
It's a nice story, yeah, but it's still Not Good Enough because today is also Daddy's
So I should tell a story about him, right?
But now I have to think of another goddamn story. Sheesh.
Okay. I can do this.
Nope, you know what? I'm just gonna throw out some cool stuff about him like I did with Chloe's birthday.
He graduated high school in 6/66.
He used to be a librarian.
The word 'tact' is not in his vocabulary.
He can always make us laugh.
He's a walking encyclopedia.
He's pretty much just the coolest dad in existence, plain and simple.
He tells the best zombie stories.