Friday, February 29, 2008

Opening Up

I've always been a very private person, closed off maybe, hiding my feelings in most situations, but recently I laid it all out there for someone. Told them everything about how I felt and gave them a few things they could easily crush me with. It's the first time I've ever put myself emotionally at risk like that and in some ways it was very helpful, but it's also comlpetely terrified me of this person's response. I don't know yet how they're going to respond and what it'll do to me and the wait is pretty much killing me. I'm terrified things won't be the same between us, that they'll change for the worse, but I'm also daring to hope that maybe me opening up is just what we needed and now things between us will soar to new heights. Either way, until I find out which it'll be I'm stuck in a suspensful spot waiting to see if I'm going to get destroyed emotionally and have to build myself back up. So I'm tense and worried and generally in a bad way and it's not happy. This person's presence in my life and their good opinion is very important to me and I hate to see either one go away.
I don't know. I just needed to get it out and write it down. But now I've probably dumped my negativity on you, so have a happy picture to make it better.

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1 comment:

Randi said...

UGH - those feelings are huge! I've done the same thing and it made my insides feel awful - here's to a learning/growing/beautiful experience for you.